You go your whole life without every watching Baywatch and then you watch two episodes back to back, one of which has Danny Trejo playing a pirate. What a wonderfull world this is.
IMDB doesn't tell you this is a show about a deaf lawyer, but it is. It also says Danny Trejo is in two episodes. He is not.
An interesting premise poorly executed in order to make it fit into the bizarre sex fantasy genre it lives in.
IMDB says it best:
"Although Elise is young and beautiful, her husband is no longer interested in having vanilla sex with her. This leaves her bored, unsatisfied and with problems during public masturbation. Then she meets the mysterious photographer Renny and experiences unknown measures of lust and passion. The affair suddenly becomes deadly danger when she learns that he's suspected of woman slayer.
Dennis Hopper stars in this true life story of an FBI informer who operated during the time of The Contra. No where near as intresting a movie as it sounds.
The tragic story of a "lady of the streets" that is not handled well by the cast or the director.
A premise that you think would be hard to mess up is spectacularly wasted in this awful moive about an Ex Cop saving his wife from some terrorists who have taken over a business building. No. It's not Die Hard. Though you'll wish you were watch Die Hard instead.
Colin Firth, who is a genius painter that for some reason works as a forest ranger, can not get over the fact that a stranger he met and married without left him so he goes on a quest across LA to find her. This movie did not age as well as Billy Zane did.
Imagine being married to Rutger Hauer. Terrifying right? Now imagine if you were married to Rutger Hauer by an explosive device. That's what this movie is about.
What happens when Playboy decide to get into the movie business? This. This terrible movie full of beautiful people and guns.
Drug Wars is an epic (only in the sense that it is very long) min-series in which Mr. Trejo only appears in one scene in one episode.
Mainiac Cop 2 is a movie about a zombie cop killing machine in which he only appears in one scene, but it is a lot more fun. Bonus points for the best made for movie rap song ever.
A still in his "prime" Steven Segal takes a break from his job killing drug deals to return to the town where he grew up...and kill drug dealers.
David Hasselhoff stars in an action movie that has THREE names;
B.W, and the The Bean
Out on Bail
and as dumb as that fact is it does not convey the lame 80's action move dumbess of the movie itself.
Reb Brown! The king of b-moves and he is joined by the Incredible goddamn hulk Lou Ferrigno in what is...not that a movie. It's not that great a movie either but it has guns and fights and isn't as racist as it could of been given its Vietnam War framing device and how badly most these movies have aged thus far.
Shanno's Deal 1989:
The first instance int he DTFP of a movie listed on IMDB that is not in circulation anymore. As far as we can tell form the IMDB it was a pilot that never got picked up so there has never been a video or DVD realise and there are no copies anywhere online. we can only assume form the discription
A washed-up lawyer refuses to take a bribe and instead goes after the South American drug cartel that's trying to push those in its way.
and the fact that Danny Trejo is not listed int he main actors section that we are nor missing out on much.
Lock Up 1989:
Stallone trying to shake of the image of a mans man action movie man plays a man who fights and builds cars in maxim security prison. It aint Rocky I but its better than Rocky III.
Ok so...right..this movie...this movie is like...wrong. Notice how I didn't say "bad", even though it totally is, its more than its morally and ethically wrong.
we have an ACTUAL trigger warning on this. And I'm not one for that kind of thing but the film we are talking about on this episode made some truly shocking choices and covers some very uncomfortable ground for what we were expecting to be Charles Bronson shooting minorites.
You would think a movie in which Gary Busey calls people "butt horn" and drives around in a tank would be better than this.
if you've never seen a Death Wish movie before then prepare to have all your expectations...met. It's exactly what you think it is. As ridiculous as it is racist this love note to a to the 80's should of been like all love notes, reconsidered before it was made.